I HAVE to start this week by thanking every single person who took the time to get in touch with me after reading my last column.
Responses came from a wide variety of people, of all ages, and your correspondence has really helped sustain me through the last few weeks.
I was extremely privileged to read your stories of some of the things you have gone through or experienced, stories that you felt you could share with me.
It never fails to surprise when you hear what people have had to endure – life is so cruel and unfair, sometimes.
But it did reinforce for me, personally, a belief in being kind to friends and strangers, as you do not know what is going on in someone’s life. The interaction you have with them could be a tipping point of their day.
After our bereavement, some people in our family circle clearly felt that they didn’t know what to say and so said nothing at all, which was difficult.
As I explained to my husband when advising him to ring his aunt after his uncle recently died, what you say is not really important - the fact that you have reached out at all is what matters and a simple ‘I’m sorry’ is often all that’s required.
I know it can be hard, though. I’m very glad to live in modern times when I was able to carry on ‘conversations’ with close friends by text or PM on Facebook, as it was just too difficult to speak, except to a very small number of my most intimate friends.
Perhaps I should have expected that it would be the case, given my profession, but I was still shocked by how much easier it was to write down what happened, so that’s what I did – hence the column.
Many of our closest friends performed wonderful acts of kindness. Mandy and Rick sponsored the planting of a tree in a Hampshire wood in his memory, whilst Hannah added 40 purple (my favourite colour) crocuses to her garden on his behalf.
Sophie came – weighed down with gifts of a chicken pie and walnut loaf - to look after our daughter so that my husband and I could spend a few hours alone together, and our neighbour Madge kept us supplied with spaghetti Bolognese and apple pie.
There were beautiful bouquets and gifts from our work colleagues, other friends, neighbours and the mums with whom I spent the majority of my maternity leave a number of years ago.
And Basingstoke Ladies’ Choir and Basingstoke Male Voice Choir kindly dedicated a number at their recent concert to us.
Honestly, it has been difficult to get back into the swing of things, but doesn’t life just motor on relentlessly, regardless if you’re on board or not?
That’s especially true when you’re lucky enough to have a four-year-old at home who demands attention every second of every minute you are with her.
I’m currently more appreciative than ever of how she occupies my time and mind.
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