JANUARY signals the start of a new year and for many people provides an opportunity for new beginnings and to start afresh.

For me, it’s difficult to see it like this.

For the first part, 2014 was looking to be a top year, possibly one of the best. My partner and I were settling into our own home, which we had bought in the summer of 2013. And then we married in March – it was the perfect day. We were lucky to have beautifully warm weather and were surrounded by all our closest family and friends.

We then went on a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon to Malaysia, where we watched orangutans in the wild and relaxed in stunning surroundings.

Perhaps we peaked too early, but from April onwards, things went considerably downhill, to the point where 2014 has now become the best and worst year of my life in equal measures.

I have had health problems for a while now, but they have presented somewhat of a mystery to doctors who weren’t able to figure out what was wrong.

Everything escalated after I suffered a perforated stomach ulcer in 2007, which resulted in over a week in hospital and months recovering, with doctors telling me it was pretty much unheard of for this to happen to a 23-year-old, and they weren’t able to figure out why.

Since then, there was the odd stay in hospital and test after test. Then, in April last year, things became significantly worse and I found myself in terrible pain.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in July, and although it doesn’t account for all of my health problems (including the stomach ulcer), it certainly explained a lot.

The only way to diagnose the condition is via a laparoscopy (keyhole surgery), and this was then followed two months later in September by more surgery to remove the endometriosis.

Unfortunately, I still have some left, and the pain hasn’t yet subsided, so it’s possible I may need further surgery this year. So, because of this, I’m finding it difficult to look at 2015 as a chance to move on and put this awful episode behind me, because it is very much still ongoing and unresolved.

However, what I will take with me into 2015 is the knowledge that I am extremely lucky, and thankful, to have such amazing support from family, friends and colleagues.

I feel guilt at having to take time off work, cancel social plans or burden family members with my feelings of despair.

But they have only ever been supportive and understanding, and I honestly couldn’t have got through it without them, and for this I will be eternally grateful.

So although the New Year doesn’t signal the start of new beginnings for me, I do hope that 2015 will bring a happy ending.