WHEN Charlotte Graham's divorce came through last March, the country was on the brink of its first lockdown which would change the course of lives - and relationships - across the borough.
Now, less than a year later, the 33-year-old beautician from Popley is set to marry again - but not to someone new.
During the first wave, Charlotte reconnected with her ex-husband of eight years, Matt, and the pair are preparing to exchange vows for the second time, following the birth of their baby boy.
“I got divorced in March from my husband of eight years after we had been together for a decade. Just before the divorce was finalised, I found out I was pregnant,” she told The Gazette.
Their remarkable story shows how the pandemic has impacted the love lives of residents, as the Gazette explores this week.
“I spent the first lockdown bored, depressed and unhappy,” she said. “[Matt and I] started to talk more and realised we both still had very strong feelings towards each other. We made the decision to reconcile and it was hard to begin with, but we made it work,” she said.
“The lockdown impacted us terribly to begin with because Matt is a keyworker and I was pregnant. We didn’t want to take any risks so he only had contact with us through video call or on the doorstep,” she said.
“It worked in our favour as being apart actually made us realise how much we missed each other and made us a lot more stronger, being able to do things for ourselves rather than relying on each other,” she said.
In November, the reunited pair had something to celebrate when they gave birth to a baby boy, a day before the second national lockdown.
“Adjusting to life as a family came naturally and our baby has brought us even closer together. When the third lockdown started, we agreed to re-marry this year on what would have been our 10 year anniversary. We are only having our children and a witness this time and I won’t need to change my name as I kept my married name and I still call myself Mrs," she said.
Charlotte said her advice to couples is to make time for each other, saying: “Take your time. Be open and discuss any problems with your partner and have a good routine and work together.
“This has made me a lot more relaxed and our relationship is 1,000 times better than it was before.”
Lockdown didn’t reconnect all couples though, as Ross discovered. The hotel worker, from Chineham, endured heartbreak last summer when he split with his long-distance girlfriend of two years.
“We talked every day but it just became harder due to restrictions. We didn't see each other for months,” he said. His experience was sadly common.
The pandemic has been described as a “perfect storm” for couples, with lockdowns causing them to spend increased amounts of time together – or conversely, if they live apart – much more time alone.
British law firm Stewarts logged a 122 per cent increase in divorce queries between July and October in 2020, compared to the previous year. While Citizens Advice recorded a spike in searches for advice on ending a relationship.
The 21-year-old, who lives in Chineham, said he managed to cope thanks to friends and throwing himself into work.
“It was up and down to begin with as I came to terms with being single but through help with friends and the fact I’ve been working through lockdown, I’ve managed to cope pretty well. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again after what happened. I hope for the future, I can get into a long-term relationship but I’m not looking at the moment, I’m focusing on my career," he said.
Ross said his advice is to speak out to your loved ones about how you’re feeling. “My advice depends on how people cope. If people cope by talking about it, talk to those closest to you. Air out everything from that relationship then forget it, lock it in your brain and move on,” he said.
“Working regularly has definitely helped me and regular contact with my friends along with setting up my own small business on the side. This has helped me move on,” he said.
It hasn’t just been tough for people going through a break-up. Those in relationships have also suffered.
Key worker Lucy* who has been with her boyfriend for four years said the pandemic blind-sided them and meant they had went from seeing each other most weekends to not at all.
“We have been together four years but the pandemic has been the toughest. We normally meet up every couple of weekends to spend time either in Andover or London.
“With the pandemic hitting, we’ve had to get creative, using Skype and WhatsApp call dates and having more calls [than normal].”
But despite the difficulties, Lucy said his support has meant the world during this hard time.
“I am a key worker and honestly, he has been my rock and has kept me going. He tries to call me as much as possible. We text every day and those Skype and WhatsApp calls mean everything.
She added: “Even if I can’t physically be with him, seeing his face always puts a smile on mine.”
- For free and confidential advice, contact Citizen's Advice on 0300 3309 064.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel