A MAN from Basingstoke has started a football team aimed at helping dads and other family members dealing with bereavement.

Sands United FC is a way for people to come together to find a network where they can feel at ease talking about their grief, when they are ready.

Sands United is a national charity, with over 30 registered teams across the UK. Now there is a team forming in Basingstoke. At the heart of this is Stephen Kelly, 29, who lives in Basingstoke with his wife Catherine. 

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Stephen said: "I initially started with Sands in Salisbury as that was the nearest team. I had never kicked a ball before, but I was encouraged to join Sands. I didn't know who to talk to about the loss of our daughter other than my wife, and it didn't feel fair to burden her with my feelings as well as her own."

Basingstoke Gazette:

Currently, in the UK, 13 families a day suffer the heartbreak of losing their baby before, during or shortly after birth. 

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"I tried group settings to talk about how I was feeling, but personally I couldn't find peace this way," Stephen continued. "Everyone deals with grief differently, and that wasn't how I wanted to do it.

"My wife put me in touch with the team in Salisbury after their manager, Sam, attended a Flutterbyes meeting to introduce himself and the team. I started training and eventually playing. The lads were so welcoming and I joined the team."

Stephen spoke to others locally about joining Sands, but the main stumbling block was the distance of the commute to Salisbury. Stephen decided to contact Sands about starting a team in Basingstoke. Sands were 'very eager' to get the team set up, and a team was formed in November 2022.

The teams commemorate their babies' all-too-brief lives by proudly displaying their names on the kit worn for every match. 

"It doesn’t matter if you have never kicked a ball in your life or if you are the next Messi," said Stephen. "You are welcome. Sands are a support group first, and we want men to feel that they can connect with other men dealing with similar emotions."

Anyone suffering from bereavement who is interested in getting involved can contact Stephen Kelly at sufcbasingstoke@gmail.com.