“HE LAUNCHED himself at me, pinned me down with his knee and strangled me” – a victim who was attacked by her partner has spoken out to warn other women against the threat of domestic abuse.

The woman, who chose not to be named, met Brian Djokey when they were both instrumental teachers at a school in the Hook area in January 2022.

She said they started seeing each other before forming a relationship.

“He would do really thoughtful things,” said the mother-of-two.

“One evening he messaged me and he turned up and said he was outside my door. At the time I thought ‘how romantic’. But actually, considering we hadn’t known each other for that long, it was quite intense.”

The 43-year-old said Djokey, who was a band leader with a music school and taught music lessons in both Basingstoke and Hook, was very affectionate and did “grand gestures of being romantic”.

However, she said he then became possessive and jealous, questioning her about previous relationships and forcing her to delete the numbers of men on her phone.

On June 8, 2022, Djokey was at her home with her two children when he became annoyed at a text message she received from a man.

She said he took her phone and demanded her pin before scrolling through old messages.

“I asked him more than once to return my phone and leave, but he refused. All of these actions left me feeling both terrified and anxious,” she said.

Recalling the terrifying moment Djokey attacked her, she said: “He launched himself at me, pinned me down with his knee and strangled me. I was stricken with fear, not knowing how long he would restrict my breathing.

"I feared that my two children would wake up and witness this terrifying scene, or worse still, that they would be left without a mother. I felt completely helpless.”

She added: “I thought ‘oh my god when is this going to stop? Surely if he sees the fear in my eyes he will stop’. And he did.”

After the attack, she ended the relationship and later reported the incident to Hampshire Constabulary who arrested Djokey, who at the time was living in Royal Close, Hatch Warren, Basingstoke.

However, she said she was forced to continue working with Djokey at the school even after she told them what had happened.

She said Djokey made her feel “guilty and ashamed” for the attack, and that it was all her fault.

She said: “He was able to make me feel this way because he had been eroding my self-esteem over the course of our relationship by making comments about my appearance and through verbal abuse such as calling me ‘pathetic’, ‘disgusting’, and a ‘dumb basic b***’.”

Djokey, 32, who now lives in Nevinson Way, Waterlooville, pleaded guilty to intentional strangulation at Winchester Crown Court and was sentenced to 16 months imprisonment, suspended for two years, on June 1.

His victim now hopes to raise awareness of domestic abuse by speaking out.

She said: “He was known to people locally. There was an assumption that he was a great guy. I think that’s key in a lot of cases of abuse. 

“After it happened, I phoned the domestic abuse helpline and spoke to someone. She said abusers are found in all different professions. Women have to be careful. Just because someone has a certain job doesn’t mean they are safe to be around.”

She said listening to a podcast on Spotify by Dina McMillan called Unmasking the Abuser had helped her to understand the relationship.

She also wants to raise awareness of Clare’s Law, which gives people the right to know if a partner has an abusive past.

Clare’s Law, also known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS), is a police policy giving people the right to know if their current or ex-partner has any previous history of violence or abuse.

It is named after Clare Wood, who was murdered by her abusive ex-boyfriend in 2009. It was formally rolled out in England and Wales in 2014 following the landmark campaign led by Clare’s father Michael Brown.

For more information visit clares-law.com/. For advice and support call the freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247.